What's Her Motivation?

My biggest challenge with homeschooling right now - surprising, perhaps, to those of you who know her - is Hopper. She complains. She puts on a terrible, grumpy face and says, "Why do we have to do work?" Nevermind the fact that she is very smart, capable, and can get through all her work in less than no time! She simply lacks motivation to do anything other than what SHE wants to do.

By and large, Hopper is a gem, a jewel, my sweet, loving, cuddly girl and constant, committed companion to Waddles. She is kind, considerate, and respectful - a good friend to all. She also comes with a significant dose of willfulness and determination. I am grateful for this - I know it is important that she be able to put her foot down and succesfully hold her ground. As a parent, however, it is also important to make sure she knows if and when she is stepping on the wrong toes....

For example, Hopper was 2 years old when I used the go-to parenting threat of the holiday season: "Do as you were told or Santa won't bring you a new doll." She looked me in the eye and said, "I don't need Santa to bring me a new doll. I already have dolls." Last year, she attended kindergarten at a wonderful school and had a loving teacher and friends whom she looked forward to playing with. Nevertheless, several mornings each week, she would come to my room, ask if it was a school day and run back to her bed in an angry huff when I told her it was. She would begrudgingly dress herself, then sit through breakfast with her pouty face and ask, "Is tomorrow a school day, too? Ugh! I wish it was a day off and I could do what I want!" She can entertain herself independently for hours, as long as she is doing what SHE wants to do.

Much to my dismay, Hopper has greeted several homeschool mornings with this sort of bad attitude - not in the mood to do anything other than what she wants to do. "This is boring. Why do we have to do work?" I took it very personally at first, then eventually (with reminders and encouragement from TDH) remembered that this is not new behavior. It is not unique to homeschooling and therefore not strictly a result of my curriculum choices, the way I present the material, etc. Okay then, we can proceed with our plan...

So far, after gentle prodding, followed by several stern looks as necessary, then a few threats, and only once, being sent to her room and told to return when she had fixed her attitude, Hopper gets on board and settles into the routine. By the end of each session, she admits that it was "not so bad". The math was kinda fun, the handwriting was kinda like artwork, etc. However, I have set my own expectations for our homeschool experiences above "not so bad".

Waddles, two years older and wired completely differently, has complained very little and does not lack motivation. He has three years of school under his belt and a better perspective on the value of education and how it will help him do the things he wants to do. Waddles has very different hurdles to overcome, and we continue to work together to help him succeed.

I believe Hopper has astronomical potential, and I am eager to help her transition into a willing learner, too. My challenge is to give her perspective on how she can use knowledge to enhance her life, the activities she chooses to participate in, and the future she envisions for herself. I need to get creative and exercise one of the many advantages of homeschooling - tailoring the plan to meet the needs of the individual learner. 

Hopper is a sucker for sweets and according to several sources, cooking is a great tool for homeschoolers. Shall we bake a cake?