What's Her Motivation?

My biggest challenge with homeschooling right now - surprising, perhaps, to those of you who know her - is Hopper. She complains. She puts on a terrible, grumpy face and says, "Why do we have to do work?" Nevermind the fact that she is very smart, capable, and can get through all her work in less than no time! She simply lacks motivation to do anything other than what SHE wants to do.

By and large, Hopper is a gem, a jewel, my sweet, loving, cuddly girl and constant, committed companion to Waddles. She is kind, considerate, and respectful - a good friend to all. She also comes with a significant dose of willfulness and determination. I am grateful for this - I know it is important that she be able to put her foot down and succesfully hold her ground. As a parent, however, it is also important to make sure she knows if and when she is stepping on the wrong toes....

For example, Hopper was 2 years old when I used the go-to parenting threat of the holiday season: "Do as you were told or Santa won't bring you a new doll." She looked me in the eye and said, "I don't need Santa to bring me a new doll. I already have dolls." Last year, she attended kindergarten at a wonderful school and had a loving teacher and friends whom she looked forward to playing with. Nevertheless, several mornings each week, she would come to my room, ask if it was a school day and run back to her bed in an angry huff when I told her it was. She would begrudgingly dress herself, then sit through breakfast with her pouty face and ask, "Is tomorrow a school day, too? Ugh! I wish it was a day off and I could do what I want!" She can entertain herself independently for hours, as long as she is doing what SHE wants to do.

Much to my dismay, Hopper has greeted several homeschool mornings with this sort of bad attitude - not in the mood to do anything other than what she wants to do. "This is boring. Why do we have to do work?" I took it very personally at first, then eventually (with reminders and encouragement from TDH) remembered that this is not new behavior. It is not unique to homeschooling and therefore not strictly a result of my curriculum choices, the way I present the material, etc. Okay then, we can proceed with our plan...

So far, after gentle prodding, followed by several stern looks as necessary, then a few threats, and only once, being sent to her room and told to return when she had fixed her attitude, Hopper gets on board and settles into the routine. By the end of each session, she admits that it was "not so bad". The math was kinda fun, the handwriting was kinda like artwork, etc. However, I have set my own expectations for our homeschool experiences above "not so bad".

Waddles, two years older and wired completely differently, has complained very little and does not lack motivation. He has three years of school under his belt and a better perspective on the value of education and how it will help him do the things he wants to do. Waddles has very different hurdles to overcome, and we continue to work together to help him succeed.

I believe Hopper has astronomical potential, and I am eager to help her transition into a willing learner, too. My challenge is to give her perspective on how she can use knowledge to enhance her life, the activities she chooses to participate in, and the future she envisions for herself. I need to get creative and exercise one of the many advantages of homeschooling - tailoring the plan to meet the needs of the individual learner. 

Hopper is a sucker for sweets and according to several sources, cooking is a great tool for homeschoolers. Shall we bake a cake?

Freedom, Fresh Air and Time

I love books. I have been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. I have an ever-growing list of favorites and always wish for more time in the day to sit down with a good book and lose myself in it. I love to read at the beach, at the pool, in bed before I fall asleep, on a cold day in front of a crackling fire, next to the window on a rainy day, by headlamp in a tent, you name it. When Waddles and Hopper ask me what my favorite thing to do is, "Read", I say.

Reading came easy to me. I would have to confirm this with my mother, but I was practically born reading. According to TDH, however, reading did not come naturally to him. In fact, he didn't read for pleasure, or by choice, until roughly 2 years ago. And he still prefers to be read to. He subscribes to Audible and can be found listening to books anytime of day, any day he is not working. He consumes an enormous quantity of books this way. It cannot be argued that he, too, loves books!

That being said, one of the driving reasons for us to begin homeschooling this year was that Waddles struggles to read. It is surely not due to a lack of interest. He shares our love of books, and he will listen for hours on end when he is being read to (like his father). He won't necessarily sit still during those hours (again, like his father - TDH gets a LOT done while he listens to audiobooks), but Waddles never misses a word and his comprehension is truly out of this world.

The fact remains that when he reads it is painfully slow and full of inaccuracies (e.g. he reads "what" instead of "that"). He has to sound out many words and has limited recall of any words he previously sounded out. He skips lines and becomes increasingly frustrated as the number of words on a page increases. He was barreling toward 3rd grade with all those "reading-to-learners", but he was still learning to read.

"Have you had him tested?", you may ask. Yes, we have. The pertinent question TDH and I began to ask ourselves was, "How much and to what end?". During 1st grade, Waddles was diagnosed with visual learning disabilities. We followed the prescribed 12-week vision therapy program and saw improvement. Nevertheless, through 2nd grade he remained below the expected reading level. I will spare the details of many conversations with teachers, optometrists, an occupational therapist who prescribed another several month long program to help eliminate (related/unrelated) "movement seeker" behaviors, etc. Suffice it to say, we were receiving feedback from multiple sources that Waddles was having difficulty fitting into the classroom.

Last Spring, he came home from school several times with those words - "I can't do it" and "I'm not smart enough". I know neither of these statements is true, but I also know that the likelihood for him to feel increasingly inferior and incapable of meeting expectations was a guarantee. 

TDH and I reached our conclusion to remove Waddles from traditional schooling and teach him at home in a way that works better for him. I admit, I want many things from this choice. Part of what I seek most is the opportunity to allow for Waddles' reading skills to develop without sacrificing content or complexity of material and without causing him to develop the sense that he is "stupid". I have no doubt his reading skills will catch up, but I don't want that need for more time to stand in the way of his ability and desire to absorb substantial amounts of information and to satisfy his thirst for knowledge.

With this in mind, it thrills me to say that our first official day of homeschooling was spent reading. It was a packing/moving day back in Oregon. TDH and I opted to divide and conquer, as we often do. He stayed at the house with Audible playing in his ears while the kids and I skipped off to a large, open field at McMenamins Grand Lodge . We found a spot under the shade of a large tree and began reading The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. I read while they listened, for hours. They begged me to continue from chapter to chapter, they inquired about the plot and characters throughout, and I occasionally quizzed them to ensure they were not only paying attention but actually "getting it". We read all day long, shifted to a picnic table for lunch, enjoyed a few chapters at bedtime, and so on. We finished the book in 2 days. I even rested my head in Waddles' lap for part of the time. It was magical - we were blessed with freedom, fresh air, and time. It was just what we needed to get started on our flavor of homeschooling.

When we arrived in Hawaii, it was time to choose a new book to read. I exercised my hard-to-define and impossible-to-repeat approach to book selection. In doing so, we discovered Calvin Coconut by Graham Salisbury. I can't say enough about how much we are enjoying reading these books together as a family. 

Calvin Coconut is a boy about Waddles' age who frequently, through little fault of his own, gets into what Waddles calls "funny trouble". He has a younger sister, Darci, about the same age as Hopper. This sibling relationship is key to my enjoyment of the books because it reflects that of Waddles and Hopper in their mutual support and obvious love for each other. Calvin experiences some lessons in life - bullying, divorce, and making new friends for example. These books offer a way for us to discuss these challenges in a safe and low-stress context. In fact, this post may have just been a really long way of saying if you're looking for a fun book for your kids to read, or to read to your kids, I strongly recommend Calvin Coconut!

Who knows what we will read next, but for now I am happy to say that reading together is a large part of our homeschool curriculum. I look forward to rereading several of my old favorites as well as selecting new books. All we need is a little freedom, fresh air and time. I am grateful that our new way of life permits just that, so we may enjoy this and countless more educational activities stress-free, considering that our experiences over the past three years have been anything but!

Homeschool Planning and Materials

I am definitely a can't-see-the-forest-through-the-trees kinda person (you may have picked up on this by the way my stories meander along with various side-tracks). So once we made the decision to homeschool, I got a little bogged down by details: how, when and where to start; what subjects to teach; what materials to use; how many hours per day/days per week to teach; what extra-curricular activities to sign-up for; on and on.

One of the many ways in which TDH complements me is his ability to create order out of chaos at times like these. My getting bogged down by details is a perfect opportunity for him to perform triage (it's ok - he is a professional). He swoops in, sorts and prioritizes action items, and then we can proceed efficiently. I would love to suggest that I have my own orderly approach to problems, but I have learned to accept this limitation and TDH loves me anyway.

The process typically begins with TDH throwing several of the items I consider to be critically important completely out the window. I often feel discouraged or hurt, observing that many concerns do not receive adequate consideration. With time, I begin to see the plan emerging. Tedious details are sloughed off my shoulders and at last I am able to focus on important first steps.. And so it has been for many an undertaking, from organizing cluttered playrooms and computer desks to arranging a move to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Having applied that process to homeschooling a few months ago, TDH chiseled out a simple plan. The first step was to select teaching materials. I had so much fun - more than I anticipated by far - with this task! I felt like a kid in a candy store. Of course, I also spent money like a high roller in Vegas! I am certain that more seasoned homeschoolers are laughing now at my expense, calling me an Amateur. Hopefully, I will gradually learn the art of thrifty homeschooling. I'm not holding my breath, though - neither TDH or I are known for being particularly thrifty...

Anyway, I used the internet, advice and recommendations from friends, and my own criteria including Waddles and Hoppers' unique learning styles and academic needs as well as my own personal preferences and gut feelings. In other words, I did not apply any hard and fast rules to selecting materials. I got what I wanted when I wanted it, and will add to it as I see fit. I LOVE this freedom!

Our homeschooling curriculum includes:

1. McRuffy Math
2. Language Arts: Michael Clay Thompson's Elementary Program
3. Handwriting Without Tears
4. Reading - all the books can stand and more
5. Writing journal - Waddles and Hopper are responsible for keeping a journal of stories, observations, questions, things they have learned - you name it! It is a low pressure, free-writing activity.

The next step was to create goals for our homeschool. Also free to evolve, the goals look something like this:
1. Build a strong foundation in the basics of reading, writing and math
2. Encourage the kids to shape their experiences by defining and exploring additional subjects of interest to them
3. Engage in physical activity every day
4. Allow plenty of opportunities for imaginative play and free-time
5. Create and maintain a positive learning environment
6. Demonstrate and emphasize the importance of a strong work ethic
7. Be flexible and willing to adapt to changes involved in moving from traditional to home schooling
8. Have fun!

This is our plan, for the most part. Plenty of material to start with, and plenty of room for refinement as we learn about homeschooling and ourselves. An adventure lies ahead!